Starting Over: Managing Money After Loss or Divorce

Maybe he always handled the bills. Maybe you trusted him with the investments. Maybe you just never had the headspace to learn while juggling everything else.

And now he's gone—through death or divorce—and you're staring at a pile of paperwork with no idea where to start.

First: breathe. You're not alone. Nearly 60% of women report that their partner managed household finances. And many find themselves suddenly solo without a roadmap.

This guide is for you.

The First 30 Days: Survival Mode

Don't try to optimise anything yet. Just stabilise.

Immediate Priorities

1. Secure access to money - Make sure you can pay bills and buy groceries
2. List all accounts - Bank, savings, credit cards, loans
3. Change passwords - Especially if divorcing
4. Redirect post if needed

Don't Make Big Decisions

In the fog of grief or divorce stress, it's tempting to:

• Sell the house immediately
• Cash out pensions early
• Give money away

Resist. Give yourself at least 6 months before major financial moves.

Understanding What You Have

Once the dust settles, it's time to take stock.

Gather Everything

• Bank statements (last 12 months)
• Pension statements
• Investment accounts
• Property documents
• Insurance policies
• Debts and loans
• Wills and trusts

The Financial Snapshot

Create a simple document showing:

• What you own (assets)
• What you owe (debts)
• What comes in (income)
• What goes out (expenses)

This is your starting point. No judgement—just facts.

Common Scenarios

"He Handled Everything—I Don't Know What We Have"

Start with what you CAN access:

• Your own bank accounts
• Utility bills (they show addresses and account numbers)
• Tax returns (HMRC can provide copies)
• Your own pension (contact your employer's HR)

For jointly-held or his-only accounts, you may need legal help.

"I've Discovered Hidden Debts"

Unfortunately common. Debt in his name only is usually his responsibility. Joint debt is both of yours. Get legal advice before paying anything you're unsure about.

"I'm Entitled to Half, Right?"

Not automatically. UK divorce settlements consider many factors:

• Length of marriage
• Both parties' needs
• Children
• Future earning capacity

A family solicitor is essential. Many offer free initial consultations.

Building Your Financial Knowledge

You're not starting from zero—you're starting from *now*.

Small Steps That Build Confidence

1. Check your accounts daily - Just look, don't judge
2. Pay one bill yourself - Feel the control
3. Open a savings account in your name only
4. Learn one new thing each week

It's Okay to Ask "Stupid" Questions

Questions I hear all the time:

• "What's the difference between a stocks and shares ISA and a cash ISA?"
• "How do I know if my pension is good?"
• "What IS a direct debit?"

There are no stupid questions. Only things you haven't learned yet.

Getting Professional Help

You don't have to figure this out alone.

Who Can Help

• Financial adviser - Long-term planning and investments
• Accountant - Tax implications of divorce/inheritance
• Solicitor - Legal aspects of separation
• Counsellor - Emotional support (money stress is real)

Watch Out For

Unfortunately, newly widowed and divorced women are targets for scams. Be wary of:

• Anyone who contacts you unsolicited
• "Too good to be true" investment opportunities
• Pressure to decide quickly

Your New Beginning

I've worked with hundreds of women in your situation. Here's what I know:

You are more capable than you think.

The women who come to me terrified of their finances? Within a year, they're checking their investments, planning their futures, and wondering why they ever let someone else handle this.

You will get there too.

Need support? Our Financially Fit course walks you through everything, step by step. No judgement, no jargon—just practical guidance for your new chapter.